I took a lot of time to think about whether I should start a new blog, or continue with this one. I decided that I am going to share real life with you and continue with this blog.
I did SO well on my journey to weight loss and health, and then I fell...I fell hard. I wanted to be a motivator and share my success.
I decided that I am not the only one to fall and fall hard. Instead of giving up, I am going to pick myself up and start again.
I am not promising perfection, but I am promising truth, I will try hard and I would like to share health, because that I what I am aiming for!
I was out planting 4 beautiful little semi-dwarf fruit trees that we got. I don't think you realize what a huge deal that is to me. I LOVE FRUIT TREES...I always have. When I was little, we had an apple tree in the back yard that I spent hours in. I had a special spot that was my sitting place. I loved to eat the green apples out of the tree with my best friend Becky. We would salt them. When the kids were little we had a beautiful peach tree that I tended with tender loving care.
When Jeff and I got married, he did not want fruit trees because his experience with them was having to pick up the fruit that fell before mowing the lawn or playing around the trees. I promised I would take care of them and he still said no.
When he finally said yes this year I cried with joy. I planned too hastily how to convince my kids to help me plant them and didn't take things into consideration like the buried gas lines, how to remove the rocks and how to do lots of manual labor when I am in the middle of a pretty serious treatment regiment for my health. ( I am going through radiation for breast cancer). We had an argument and I fell into tears on the kitchen floor.
Poor frustrated Jeff did not realize my passion for the trees and I didn't plan well.
We talked it through, and I started again, with a plan in hand.
Is it easy? NO. Am I scared I don't have the strength and health to accomplish this task, YES. Am I going to complete the planting...YES. ONE STEP AT A TIME!
I failed at the first attempt. In that failure I realized a few things: I CANT DO IT ALONE, I CANT DO IT WITHOUT PLANNING, I AM GOING TO SLIP UP!
I also know that I am going to have incredible return in a few years...beautiful side yard where there has been the trash of the home in that corner of the yard. I am going to also enjoy the fruits (literally) of my labor with fresh, crisp apples, sweet and sour cherries, beautiful juicy plums and sun kissed peaches.
That is how I feel with my weight loss. Did I start out with great ambition? YEP, did I succeed for a while, YOU BET. Why did I slip up?
I thought long and hard about this:
1. I didn't plan long term
2. I didn't change my mind set for a life style change
3. I do well with SUPPORT.
4. I tried to change everything and didn't stop to take one step at a time.
I am in the planning stages again, which I will share with you, but I do know that I have to have MOTIVATION, PLANNING, SUPPORT, DAY TO DAY CARE, and know that the fruits of my labor are not going to be instantaneous...it is a day to day choice to be healthy.